I’m sure that, like me, you remember the song Bootylicious by Destiny’s Child. Released in 2001, it became a huge hit in the charts. I heard it on the radio the other day, quickly recognisable from its opening lyrics, which went thus:
Kelly, can you handle this?
Michelle, can you handle this?
Beyoncé, can you handle this?
I don't think they can handle this
My boy Roc, can you handle this?
My girl Missy, can you handle this?
DC, can you handle this?
My ghettos, you can't handle this
Now, before hearing that song, I had no idea that Beyoncé and her bandmates were such huge fans of door furniture. But why else would they mention it so often? The only conclusion to draw is that they are secretly big fans of handles for UPVC doors. Now, I wouldn’t want to let the girls down, so for their benefit, I’ll be looking at that very subject today. And if you think that was my most clunking introduction to a topic to date, you’d be correct. Sorry about that.